My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize