I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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