My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
cat food counts as protein by the way
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
sex in a hospital.. check
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
