i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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