We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
