does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
