Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They have beer where we have blood.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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