Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
