I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
