I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just pee around me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
