The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
