are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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