Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize