And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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