I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize