Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
