The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
