in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
