the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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