I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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