All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
