theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
