where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
