we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize