So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sext me about skeletons
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
