Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
