2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
