I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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