i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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