so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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