I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
