i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
