I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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