Just cropdusted the office
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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