woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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