so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
How does one acquire holy water?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize