Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
