Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
