Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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