she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
