if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
