Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
