im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
