Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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