I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
