I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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