we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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