So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize