Everything about him screamed your future.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
