I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I still have a little drunk in my system
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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