no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize