Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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