Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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