Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize