Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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