1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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