Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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