Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
