it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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