i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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