its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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