i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
